Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Is Hank Steinbrenner Ever Wrong?

Not yet. He backed the acquisition of Santana, only to lose out to the "cooler heads" of Cashman and Hal. Now he writes that the multi-division setup isn't fair because bad teams go to the playoffs and good teams don't. He is, as always, transparently self-serving. But he is, as what is looking more and more like always, absolutely right.

Little Stein writes:

The biggest problem is the divisional setup in Major League Baseball. I didn't like it in the 1970s, and I hate it now. Baseball went to a multi-division setup to create more races, rivalries and excitement. But it isn't fair.

You see it this season, with plenty of people in the media pointing out that Joe Torre and the Dodgers are going to the playoffs while we're not. This is by no means a knock on Torre -- let me make that clear -- but look at the division they're in. If L.A. were in the AL East, it wouldn't be in the playoff discussion. The AL East is never weak.

St. Louis winning the World Series -- that was ridiculous. The Cardinals won their division with 83 wins -- two fewer than the Phillies, who missed the postseason. People will say the Cardinals were the best team because they won the World Series. Well, no, they weren't. They just got hot at the right time. They didn't even belong in the playoffs. And neither does a team from the NL West this season.

He also calls revenue sharing a "socialist system" that's un-American. Hank for President? How about Hank for King.

Friday, September 19, 2008

A Schilling divided against itself has no problem standing, eating, talking

Curt Schilling courageously speaks out on Curt Schilling: "The thing about it for me, is, I haven't thrown a freakin' pitch all year, I've been the biggest waste of space, I've been robbing payroll for the entire season, no one feels worse about not contributing than me."

If you're so wracked by guilt, Curt, I'm pretty sure the Red Sox would accept a refund of the $8 million they paid you this year. Action, Curt. Not just words. Try it, just to screw with the natural order of things.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

The Assman Cometh, Fieldeth

Bartolo Colon returned yesterday and made this play (click on "Colon backhands"), which might be among my picks for play of the century if I didn't think it resulted from pure luck.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Dear Francisco Rodriguez

Hey, man. Congrats on the saves record. That's pretty cool, capturing the record while performing no better than the fifth best closer in the league, figuring generously.

Allow me to make a suggestion. Your post-save celebrations are kind of a little bit much. That is: they're batshit insane, morally abhorrent, and unbecoming high-order, or even middling order, forms of life. They cause hives to break out on my soul.

Please curtail the arms-to-sky madness, before terrorists weave images of your displays into a recruitment video depicting the wicked permissiveness of American society. Stop it now.

Thanks. I really appreciate it. Keep lodging those saves. You'd totally be my MVP vote if I were under the influence of large quantities of alcohol and larger sums of money.


J. Klompus

Thursday, September 11, 2008

I guess that's where he practiced his pitching face...

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, Papelbon.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Crime against humanity

John Sterling just called Ivan Rodriguez "the pudge-a-roo." If the Hague court ever adopts the death penalty, I'm funding Sterling's European vacation.