TekWatch: Working Class Hero Scott Boras Speaks Out

Jason Varitek's agent Scott Boras has begun to lay out the case that Tek is a valuable catcher. Pull up a chair, preferably with a solid back, and feel the bullshit seep into your pores:

"If you think about his physical conditioning, he's got many more years to play in this game," Boras said. "When he's out there, this club is decisively different. You're really talking about a guy that is inherently valuable. In this day and time, what is a player like that worth?"

Let's take these claims in turn.

If you think about his physical conditioning, he's got many more years to play in this game.

If I think about Curt Schilling's or Cecil Fielder's physical conditioning, those players should never have played the game. If I think about Barry Bonds's physical conditioning, Bonds should be DH'ing right now in the World Series. If, however, I think about actual baseball ability -- the, you know, important thing -- Jason Varitek's not looking so hot. After posting OPS+ numbers around 120 from 2003 to 2005, Tek sunk to 83 in 2006, 103 in 2007, and a miserable 73 this year, at age 36. That's good evidence he's on a serious and irreversable decline.

When he's out there, this club is decisively different.

Unprovable, but here's the evidence the Globe presented: "Over the past three seasons, including playoffs, the Red Sox have a .596 winning percentage in games in which Varitek has appeared and a .508 winning percentage when he did not. This season, the Red Sox went 78-53 with him in the regular season, 17-14 without him." Tek doesn't catch Tim Wakefield, who is the fourth or fifth starter on the Sox. And the catcher who replaces Tek is the backup, who ought to be worse than the alternative everyday player a team could get on the market. Demonstrated Tek effect: 0.

You're really talking about a guy that is inherently valuable.

Unclear what Boras has in mind that's not completely trivial. Jason Varitek, by virtue of being human, is endowed with instrinsic value? Maybe, but you'd have to square his entitlement to human rights with his lone hit in the ALCS, or his frequent swinging strikeouts in which bat and ball are separated by enough space to fit families of cattle from the Argentine pampas.

In this day and time, what is a player like that worth?

Put it this way: I'd start auctioning Tek's beard-clippings on eBay.

Sums up the election

A squabble about World Series loyalty sums up the presidential election. Obama acts perfectly reasonably and with a sense of proportion; McCain distorts Obama's position and reveals his own narrowmindedness; sensible people roll eyes.

Says McCain: “It’s pretty simple really. When [Obama's] campaigning in Philadelphia, he roots for the Phillies, and when he’s campaigning in Tampa Bay, he shows love to the Rays. It’s kind of like the way he campaigns on tax cuts, but then votes for tax increases after he’s elected."

Problems:

1. Obama said he's rooting for the Phillies and not the Rays, which eliminated his hometown White Sox. He just expressed appreciation for the Rays at a rally with several Rays players. He also made light of the fact that baseball is just a game.

2. It's kind of invalid to cite events that might happen in the future as though they've happened already.

Joe the Fucker

No one serious can say it, so I will: Joe the Plumber is a fucking piece of shit.

First he said Barack Obama tap danced "almost as good as Sammy Davis Jr." Today he said: "Vote for a real American, John McCain."

Jack the Blogger has a message for you, Joe, from one real American to another: your asscrack is your most appealing feature. Stick to plumbing.