Doug Mirabelli, Don't Think You're Special, Because You Suck

As the Red Sox were going through introductions, they wen[t] through the catchers, finishing with Doug Mirabelli. Mirabelli, wearing a black shirt and dark coat, rather than the uniforms worn by the rest, got a big ovation, turned and saluted the crowd. He then got his ring, and walked back into the dugout, instead of going to stand in the infield with the other members of the current Red Sox. (Boston Globe)

Doug Mirabelli, you stink. Bad. Your OBP last year, .278, would have been merely decent as a batting average. No one whose opinion is worth caring about cares about you. So spare us further demonstrations, retreat to Back Bay or wherever the fuck, and see if you can't use your shiny new World Series ring—which you got because you wound up on the same team as David Ortiz, Manny Ramirez, and Josh Beckett—to seduce skeezie middle-aged women for whom orthodonture is something they heard of, once, but don't remember what it means.