The Yankees are playing a day game against the Jays, meaning we'll be at work, meaning we can devote our full attention to baseball.
Jack, 1:33 pm: 3-0 Jays! But the joy of the Jays lead is nearly erased by the fact that Susan Waldman, cunt extraordinaire, is back on the radio. I mean "cunt extraordinaire" in a descriptive sense. She must have an extraordinary cunt to have so many shrieking orgasms every time any Yankee does anything good.
Jack, 1:33 pm: 3-0 Jays! But the joy of the Jays lead is nearly erased by the fact that Susan Waldman, cunt extraordinaire, is back on the radio. I mean "cunt extraordinaire" in a descriptive sense. She must have an extraordinary cunt to have so many shrieking orgasms every time any Yankee does anything good.
65 comments:
Way to keep it family friendly Jack!
I can imagine only one reason why you'd come to the defense of Susan "Aaaaaaahhhhhhh" Waldman, and it's related to my description of her.
That little fuck has only thrown 19 pitches.
Please do not interpret anything I have ever said as a defense of Susan Waldman.
I'm ready to make a call on this game: Cy Litsch throws a no-hitter.
Giving the Gold Glove to Derek Jeter is like giving the Nobel Peace Prize to Saddam Hussein.
Didn't they actually give the Nobel Peace Prize to Saddam Hussein?
Babe Stinky strikes again!
There are actually three consecutive no-so-great batters in the Yankee lineup: Mientkiewicz, Cabrera and Damon. Amazing!
And now Mientkiewicz and Cabrera have become the first two Yankees to reach base.
There goes the no-no. But Litsch did keep it going through two strong innings.
Hussein never won, but they did give it to Kissinger and Arafat, so I guess it's not much better than the Gold Gloves.
Come on Captain Calm Eyes...
Litsch shows he can get out of jams, cool under fire. This is even better than a no-hitter.
Jeter is a fucking choker.
You think they'd give me a Nobel Peace Prize for peacefully masturbating? It's peaceful.
"Every city has a ballpark that's different from every other ballpark, and I love them all." - John Sterling
Give it time.
Yes, Sterling is a huge fool
Pettitte's pitch count is really going up. Even last inning, Litsch only threw 10 pitches. I don't know why it is so hard for guys to understand the importance of knocking the starter out of the game.
"It's a 6-4-3 DP" - John Sterling (he actually said "DP")
Jeter turns two! No way A-Rod would have had the clutchitude to make that play.
Must you keep reminding me of what the Yankees insist on forcing us fans to listen to?
Oh yes, I must.
Sterling again waxed orgasmic about the variety of ballparks in Major League Baseball. No illustrative quotes this time; it was just retarded, without the frills.
"That ball is high, that ball is far, it is go...one-hopped, off the wall." - John Sterling
I doubt he has ever been to RFK
And he does that shit all the time.
Don't worry, Robbie will K.
motherfucker
I smell a big inning for the Jays, capped by a Gregg Zaun grand slam.
Well, not exactly...
It's not Zaun's fault.
I promise you this: we will see an A-bomb before the end of the day.
Actually, 80 pitches through 5 is not bad. He might go 7.
This is a makeup of a rain out game from April. The Yankees are trying to reenact that month today.
A-rod is totally choking. He had a chance to hit 60 this year, and he's all but blown it. I'd bat him ninth and make him procure women for Jeter.
Isn't it slightly contradictory to say "just wait for the Yanks to come back" on the on hand and "they fucking suck" on the other?
Yes. Yes it is.
A-Rod just missed a home run; it went foul. Typical of the choker. A-Rod leads baseball in missed home runs.
Was Sterling praising A-Rod for the productive out? If so, he is a tool. They need to score a lot, not scratch out runs.
He also leads the majors in real home runs.
GOJIRA!!!!! owns Litsch.
The Yankees have no walks today. That is pathetic.
Oh for the love of god NO!!!
Frank Thomas will hit a five run home run off Farnsworthless.
Are the horsemen coming?
I don't think Sterling did, but you are right to assume the worst.
Today's useless Yankees' trivia question (for real): Who was the last Yankees' captain before Derek Jeter?
Answer: Derek "Dreamy" Jeter was always the Yankees' captain, ever since his birth two thousand years ago to a herd of goats on Mount Olympus.
Only a child of Zeus could display such calm eyes, such unreal cluthitude, such inhuman sexiness.
How many times a day does Susan Waldman walk past Jeter's locker hoping he'll notice her?
"That was the pea-nuttiest!" - John Sterling (NOT JOKING; THIS HAPPENED)
context?
That must be why she is always having orgasms on the air: auditioning for Dreamboat Derek.
There was no context. Sterling set it up by saying something like, "Remember that peanut butter commercial that said, 'the pea-nuttiest'? Well, that was the pea-nuttiest!" I forget what was supposedly pea-nutty, but it does not matter--nothing should be described that way, ever.
God will it be nice when the Yankees can use Hughes, Kennedy, and Joba out of the pen during the postseason instead of these losers.
Any word on whether Joba rules will apply in the playoffs?
Doesn't matter as much with the extra off days. The rules were already broken; I suspect we will see quite a bit of Joba. I know Torre has a history of changing his usage of Rivera, having him pitch 3 inning saves.
If the Yankees hold it to 3, Giambi had better hit for stinky.
If Torre wants to get ballsy--and he won't--he should start Joba in the playoffs. That makes the rotation Pettite, Joba, Clemens and Mussina.
Um, that would be dumb. Wang is their best pitcher.
I like this Ohlendorff guy. The Yanks picked him up in the Johnson trade, which is looking like a pretty good move.
Uh, right. Wang, Joba, Pettite and Clemens, with Mussina in the bullpen. Then again, there might be more value in having a lights-out guy in the bullpen for key situations, if you're confident that Mussina can make quality starts.
The Yankees lose! Thhhheeeeeeee Yaaankkeess lose!
Did I just back over a cat's tail or did Susan Waldman screech?
I don't know, I think having a lights out guy in the bullpen matters more in the playoffs. I suspect both.
I just remembered, it's "Suzyn Waldman." Even her parents sensed they had birthed a fool.
Post a Comment